One Month Mark | Reece's Rainbow

I know everyone is anxiously waiting for updates. Trust me, I wish I could give them to you! Today is the one month mark of waiting for our Dossier to be approved. The approval comes in the form of a "Match Letter," meaning Vietnam has approved our match with Quinn. Because Vietnam is in the middle of a pilot program with their adoptions since joining the Hague, their timelines are quite unhelpful. They say we should have our Match Letter between 3 and 12 months from our submission date. Ugh.  We have also been told to expect Z.E.R.O. updates until the much anticipated Match Letter arrives.

So in the mean time we are fundraising (you can check out dates for our gourmet bake sale open houses on Facebook or Instagram @callievanwag), still slowly getting Quinn's room ready (almost done!), and still basking in our childless state while it lasts. By the way, if one more person tells me to "enjoy it while it lasts" or "you won't be able to do those things once you have kids," I might lose it. We are well aware that our world is about to be turned upside down. We have been waiting for it for a long, long, long, long time. We are doing our best to "enjoy it while it lasts" while anxiously looking forward to our lives changing dramatically, we hope for the better. I hope that isn't too harsh because I know everyone means well. We just, well, know (mostly) what we signed up for :)

We are still being so blessed with a sense of peace. It is amazing that when you know you are doing the things the Lord wants you to do, nothing else matters. While we are excited and anxious to bring Quinn home, there is a process that is required to do it, and that's okay. It is long, and frustrating, and full of unknowns, and slightly terrifying, but the one thing we do know is that this is God's will for us; and that makes all the difference.
 

So, here is to our one month mark! We appreciate you joining your prayers with ours that things move quicker than expected and that we can bring Quinn home!

The Dossier | Reece's Rainbow

It's been a little over a month since my last post! In all honesty, I have been stalling until I had good news to post, which we do! Our Dossier (Doss-ee-ae) is DONE and is en route to Vietnam.

Here is how the last month has gone to get this crazy thing done

Previously we collected all the "easy" documents like our home study, birth certificates, copies of passports, marriage certificate, etc. We had these notarized and ready to go and were just waiting for the last document we needed from USCIS (immigration). This finally came on a Friday at 4pm. We jumped in the car and went to get copies (our printer/copier decided not to work). Next we had to get it notarized. We got to the bank, but all the notaries (yes, I know who they all are) already had people they were helping, and there was one person ahead of us waiting. Luckily this cute girl that has notarized a lot of stuff for us recognized us and asked the person she was with to wait since she was pretty sure we just needed a notary. Bless her! Now we just had to get all the way to the state capital building downtown through rush hour traffic on a Friday before they closed at 5pm! Ahh! Mark did great and even performed an illegal maneuver so I could run everything in. I walked into the office at 4:57 and have never been so relieved and grateful! It was a very stressful hour, but we definitely felt the blessings as what seemed impossible worked without any problem.

This one mad dash hour was followed by a week waiting for them to add a fancy stamp authenticating the documents and notaries. Once they were ready I picked them up and was ready to send them on to the Vietnamese embassy in Washington DC. However one of the notaries forgot to do something on one of Mark's documents so before we could send it we had to have them correct it. Because of this and our work schedules it made more sense for Mark to do it and send it to the embassy. This was a little stressful for me because I had probably read the instructions on what to do and how to send them at least a dozen times. Mark, thinking me more than capable, hadn't read them at all. I started telling him everything he had to do and his response was "What if I lose everything?" I about had a heart attack. After some slow breathing I informed him that "that isn't even close to funny." While I knew he was joking, I wasn't going to take any chances so I typed up a step by step list of everything he had to do. Of course he did it perfectly and didn't even lose one thing.

The embassy said it takes on average 5-7 days for them to process our documents. We obsessively checked the tracking number for the return envelope to see if it was on its way back to us. On the 9th day we saw that it was on its way!!

Now we will send everything to our agency who will send it to the Department of Adoption (DOA) in Vietnam. We are hoping it will be logged into their system quickly as our agency has already been working on translating everything into Vietnamese. After that it's anybody's guess as to when we will be "matched" in Vietnam's records. We have heard that a big and lengthly step for Vietnam is doing a Police Report which we believe has already been done for Quinn. That could potentially shorten the wait, but they could also ask for additional documentation that would have to be notarized, state authenticated, and authenticated by the Vietnamese embassy all over again.

Please pray for the Vietnam officials that they will move quickly and not need anything else to approve our match with Quinn! Let the long (hopefully short) wait begin!

The Abolitionists | Reece's Rainbow

Mark and I recently went to see the movie "The Abolitionists" which is about child trafficking. There was one part of the movie that particularly stood out to me. During one of the missions of "The Underground Railroad", the team was in Haiti searching for a kidnapped child. They suspected that an orphanage was involved in trafficking children and went to investigate. They received some tips as to where they might go to get some additional information. Posing as prospective "buyers" they negotiated the purchase of two children. The entire process took less than 2 weeks, and they paid $15,000 per child. Of course this is completely illegal, but part of me was thinking "Wow, that would be so nice!" Then I actually thought about it, and said "That is why we are doing what we are doing." 

Prior to 2010, Vietnam was not a participating country in what is known as the Hague Convention. Here is a little information on what this is:

The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption (Convention) is an international agreement to safeguard intercountry adoptions. Concluded on May 29, 1993 in The Hague, the Netherlands, the Convention establishes international standards of practices for inercountry adoptions. The Unites States signed the Convention in 1994, and the Convention entered into force for the United States on April 1, 2008. Read the full text of the Convention here. 

While it would be nice to stroll into an orphanage and find our children, not everyone is in it to become parents. Some people walk in looking to pay nominal "fees" to purchase a child in order to enslave them and profit from their prostitution. While the waiting is completely terrible, protecting these children is worth every second we have to wait to bring Quinn home.

Assuming many people are like us when it comes to understanding adoption fees, let me give you an idea what these fees are, and what they are for:

Agency Application - Fee to review our initial application to adopt
Adoption Home Study - Lots of questions, and more questions, and a visit to our home
U.S. Processing - Facilitation of adoption with agency and government officials in the US and Vietnam.
USCIS - Application for approval from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to bring a child to the U.S. for adoption.
Adoption Education Classes - Pre-parenting classes
Dossier Preparation - Collection of lots of paperwork that must be notarized and triple authenticated. 
Program Fee - Legal services and communication working with government and agency authorities. Legal fees. Passport and US visa fees. 
Travel expenses - Fees associated with traveling to Vietnam, as well as expenses during our required stay.
Adoption Finalization - Legalization of the adoption

Vietnam Adoption Estimated Total: $28,165-$38,010

We are going through this long drawn out and very expensive process so that these children end up in good loving families instead of in the hands of child predators. And just to be clear, we don't pay for Quinn. We pay attorney and agency fees, but we don't buy a child. We are happy that Vietnam is now a Hague Convention country, and facilitates in the safe adoption of kids like Quinn!

I encourage everyone to go out and see this movie! It was very eye opening and helped us understand and even appreciate the process we are going through to get Quinn. But, even more this movie is spreading the word on this absolutely horrific and prominent problem in our world. Watch it!

The Time Line | Reece's Rainbow

The top question everyone wants to know right now is WHEN? That is a big question, so I'll do my best to answer it. There are several steps and red tape  that we have to go through before we can go get Quinn. Here is a quick summary of each step:

1. The Home Study (see previous post on this here)

2. I-800A - 1-2 months. This is a form we file with USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration) that approves us to adopt from an approved Hague country.

3. The Dossier (Doss-ee-ay) - 3-12 months. What the home study is to the US, the Dossier is to Vietnam. It is several documents including an application to adopt, copies of our passports, a copy of the I-800A, a copy of our home study and many other things. These all have to be notarized, state certified, and authenticated by the Vietnamese embassy in Washington D.C.

Once Vietnam receives these things they will do some research on Quinn and try to locate his birth family again (they were not ever able to identify them after his birth). I'm assuming this is where the 3-12 months comes in.

4. I-800 - 2-3 weeks. USCIS - This form approves Quinn to be adopted into the US

5. Two more forms that I have no ideas what they are for. They are a little far out at this point and I'm sure I'll get more info as we get closer.

6. Travel approval! Apply for our Vietnam Visas and book our plane tickets!


After our Dossier is approved (step 3) our timeframe for everything else (steps 4-6) is about 5-6 months.

We are currently on step 2. Of course we are praying that things move faster than expected, but are also trying to be realistic. Right now it is almost easier to not think of when we go get him. I prefer to focus on each step and what we can actually do right now. However, we are hoping to go sometime between May and August 2017. That seems so far away, and as I type that, I'm really really hoping it doesn't take that long, but all evidence is saying it will.

We know we are being blessed through this entire process. We know we are following God's plan for us, and because of that I think He is helping us with a general sense of peace and "rightness." It doesn't mean that I'm not anxious and dying to have him here... it just means that everything will turn out when it is supposed to, and that's ok.

So, in the mean time we are focusing on what we can do now: making sure our paperwork is filed the minute we are able to, getting our house and Quinn's room ready for him, fundraising efforts (I'm selling French macarons to people that live in our area), and being excited about our life as it is now. We are doing that by going to movies, hanging out with friends, being together, working in our church callings, and basking in our childless state while it lasts. Last year Mark won a travel voucher through his work that we have/get to use this year. We are planning a trip back East to visit Mark's sister Wendy (woohoo!)

That being said we still can't wait for Quinn to be here!

Down Syndrome | Reece's Rainbow

I'm sure a lot of you are wondering more about Quinn. I know we are! As I mentioned before he has special needs (or we wouldn't be able to adopt him in the first place) but specifically, he has Down Syndrome. We know he is amazing for many reasons, and this happens to be one of them. We don't have a lot of experience with DS, so we have been trying to learn more and would like to take a moment to share some of what we have learned. I got most of my information from the website noahsdad.com and the National Down Syndrome Society

First, some stats and facts!

• Down Syndrome occurs when there is a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21
• It is the most common genetic condition; approximately 1 in every 700 births
• Down Syndrome occurs in people of all races and economic levels
• 85% of infants born with Down Sydnrome are diagnosed after birth
• People with Down syndrome have an increased risk for certain medical conditions such as congenital heart defects, respiratory and hearing problems, Alzheimer's disease, childhood leukemia and thyroid conditions. Many of these conditions are now treatable, so most people with Down syndrome lead healthy lives
• A few of the common physical traits of Down syndrome are: low muscle tone (hypotonia), small stature (which Quinn definitely has), an upward slant to the eyes, flat features, and a single deep crease across the center of the palm (side note, randomly -or not- Mark has this line on his palm.) Every person with Down syndrome is a unique individual and may possess these characteristics to different degrees or not at all (more here)
• Life expectancy for people with Down syndrome has increased dramatically in recent decades – from 25 in 1983 to 60 today
• People with Down syndrome attend school, work, participate in decisions that affect them, have meaningful relationships, vote and contribute to society in many wonderful ways
• All people with Down syndrome experience cognitive delays, but the effect is usually mild to moderate and is not indicative of the many strengths and talents that each individual possesses
• Quality educational programs, a stimulating home environment, good health care and positive support from family, friends and the community enable people with Down Syndrome to lead fulfilling and productive lives
• See more here

So for those like me that need things laid out in layman's terms, what is Down Syndrome?

"Down syndrome (Trisomy 21) is a chromosomal abnormality where a child is born with three copies of the 21st chromosome (Just like in the picture!)

Chromosomes hold our genetic information, and there are 23 types of chromosomes. One set of those being your sex chromosomes (X, and Y), and the others labeled 1 through 22. When babies are created, they receive 23 chromosomes from their mom contained in her egg and 23 chromosomes from their dad contained in his sperm, totaling 46 chromosomes.

Children with Down syndrome are born with an extra 21st chromosome." (I got this here)

Got it? :) Good!

So, once Quinn get's home we will be doing a lot of doctor's visits. This is mostly due to the fact that he has been institutionalized for his entire life and less to do with DS, although that will play a part too. We want to make sure we catch whatever needs to be caught as soon as possible. After initial visits some things we expect to be doing long term (as needed) will be speech therapy, occupational therapy (fine motor skills), and physical therapy (gross motor skills).

From the very limited reports we have on Quinn, it shows that he is a happy healthy little guy. He walks and runs and likes to play, just like any little 4 year old. We just can't wait till he is playing here with us!!

P.S.

I don't think I have ever explained what Reece's Rainbow is and why it is all over our blog. Reece's Rainbow is a non-profit grant organization that is focused on helping orphaned children with Down Syndrome find their families and raise money for adoption costs. They are so cool!

It is a great way to get involved. You can financially sponsor a specific child, family, or Reece's Rainbow in general. You can become a "warrior" for a specific child or family (spreading the word and trying to help with fundraising efforts). And basically do something really meaningful in the world. They have provided us with a fantastic network of families who are doing what we are doing and it is amazing to see the Lord's hand in so many ways. You can find our family sponsor page here

Immigration | Reece's Rainbow

Great news!!! Our Home Study has officially been approved and finished!!

So now what?

We get to start the wonderful paperwork journey of the US Immigration system! Woohoo!! We first have to file an application for "Determination of Suitability to Adopt a Child from a Convention Country." This is one form that will go into our Dossier (fancy word for a pile of papers we need). This one form costs about $1,000 to file and takes about 2 months to get approved. Everyone pray they don't take that long!

In the mean time... we are slowly working on Quinn's room! Obviously all of our disposable income is going towards adoption costs so it is slow coming,  but it is going to be so great! Pictures to come!

The Home Study | Reece's Rainbow

The first thing required to adopt a child from anywhere be it domestically or internationally is a home study. This entails filling out a bunch of paperwork that includes everything from the standard things like where we live and what we do for work, to really personal questions about our childhoods and family situations, and what we consider to be our own personal strengths and weaknesses when it comes to raising children and being parents. 

(I would just like to take a moment to impress upon all of you biological families out there how grateful you should be to not have to answer to anyone about why you will be a good parent. It's crap. There, that is the only pity party I will have!)

The great thing about The Home Study, is that it comes with a giant checklist. I. Love. Checklists! I rock at checklists. Copy of our Drivers Licenses, check! Copy of our bank statement, check! copy of our marriage certificate, check! Employment verification letters that have to be on company letterhead, state our annual income (even though I'm paid hourly), and notarized, Check! Check! Check! Check! Down the list we went. We had that thing done in no time. It actually took forever, but now that it's over it feels like we did it pretty quickly.

Next comes referrals from family and friends to get their opinion on why we will be good parents. I'm sure that was painful, awkward, and terrible for everyone who we asked to do one, so THANK YOU! You know who you are and we think you are amazing!

Next came the home visit. This was a really fun time where we took the morning off of work so that a social worker whom we had never met before could come to our house, sit in our living room, and ask us personal questions. For 3 hours. So glad that is done!

Just a note, I never want to be a social worker. That would be such a hard job! Who wants to go into strangers houses and try to evaluate if they are mentally stable enough to provide a safe, nurturing, home for a child? Not me! But kudos to her, because she was great.

Then our social worker had to type up a huge document stating her opinion of us using her visit and all of the forms and documents we submitted. This form is then sent to our international agency for approval and then translated into Vietnamese and used as one checklist item in our next task: the Dossier!